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Content note: This essay discusses grooming and childhood abuse in an educational, non-graphic way. If this topic feels heavy today, please take care of yourself and step away if you need to. Most people imagine grooming as something obvious – a stranger, a sudden escalation, a clear red flag. But grooming rarely looks like danger. This is what it actually looked like in my life – and why I didn’t recognize it at the time. It often looks like trust. It looks like attentio

Life has a funny way of testing how much strength we really have – often when we least expect it. Over the years, I’ve faced my share of challenges, but nothing quite prepared me for the call that came one quiet afternoon at the dentist’s office. The Call Three years ago, I was sitting in my dentist chair, waiting for my turn to be seen, when I saw my doctor’s number pop up on the phone screen. My heart dropped. I’d had a lumpectomy a week prior to remove what we believed was

In a demanding career, it’s easy to let your identity get wrapped up entirely in your work. The deadlines, meetings, and constant drive for results can quietly consume every ounce of your time and energy. For many of us, the harder we work, the less space we leave for anything else. But I’ve learned that balance doesn’t mean doing less – it means doing what replenishes your spirit. Finding the things that fill you back up so you can show up fully, both in your career and in y

There’s a moment in my life that I occasionally look back on – the first time I ever truly felt safe. What’s so ironic about that moment is that it happened during what was supposed to be a punishment. For context, I grew up in a very strict, conservative Baptist household. My parents were extremely controlling. Everything in our lives revolved around rules, sin, and obedience - especially obedience toward my father, since he was the “head of the household.” I learned early o

For many years, I didn’t realize how much my childhood shaped the way I dated, the partners I chose, and even the kind of love I believed that I deserved. I thought that I was just making normal life choices. But when I look back now, so many of those choices weren’t really mine. They were shaped by survival. By expectations from others. By a version of “love” I grew up watching – even when that version wasn’t healthy. And I suspect I’m not alone in that. Doing What Was Exp

The holidays just ended, and my husband and I found ourselves talking about Santa. Or, more specifically, about our seven-year-old niece, who just figured out that he isn’t real. She’s furious with her mom for “lying” to her, but she fortunately also promised not to spoil the magic for her little brother. At the same time, she marched up to me during gifts and said, very knowingly, “Aunt Janae… that gift from Santa? That was from you.” I laughed and said, “Yup. That one was

There’s a certain kind of person the world learns to lean on. The steady one. The fixer. The one who steps in, holds everything together, and absorbs the chaos so others don’t have to feel it. And on the outside, that looks like strength. But what people don’t see is the cost. This piece is for anyone who has ever been the strong one – In your family, your friendships, your workplace… or all of the above. The one who doesn’t get to fall apart. The one who keeps functioning w

Most people know how to show up when someone is fighting cancer. Meals appear. Messages flood in. Support is visible and tangible (and sometimes even overwhelming). What people don’t talk about is what happens after . After the last treatment. After the appointments slow down. After you’re declared “cancer-free” and expected to feel relieved, grateful, and whole again. I just passed three years cancer-free, and I thought that these annual milestones would eventually feel like

For most of my life, I believed that what I wanted didn’t matter. My role was to keep the peace, make everyone else comfortable, and disappear into whatever version of myself caused the least disruption to the family. No one tells you that the hardest part of healing isn’t processing trauma – it’s realizing that you matter too. Growing up, I learned early that only what my father wanted was important. My feelings weren’t just ignored – they were treated as irrelevant. Anger

In a demanding career, it’s easy to let your identity get wrapped up entirely in your work. The deadlines, meetings, and constant drive for results can quietly consume every ounce of your time and energy. For many of us, the harder we work, the less space we leave for anything else. But I’ve learned that balance doesn’t mean doing less – it means doing what replenishes your spirit. Finding the things that fill you back up so you can show up fully, both in your career and in y

Life has a funny way of testing how much strength we really have — often when we least expect it. Over the years, I’ve faced my share of challenges, but nothing quite prepared me for the call that came one quiet afternoon at the dentist’s office. The Call Three years ago, I was sitting in my dentist chair, waiting for my turn to be seen, when I saw my doctor’s number pop up on the phone screen. My heart dropped. I’d had a lumpectomy a week prior to remove what we believed was